Strip for Your Dinner or Peter Costello is a Wanker
Anyone who wanted a job should take advantage of the best employment conditions in 22 years and “try their hand”, the Treasurer, Peter Costello, said yesterday, after new figures showed the jobless rate locked at an equal 22-year low. Sydney Morning Herald 12.12.03
Imagine walking past a strip club and seeing Peter Costello* shaking his fat arse in the doorway – he would probably wink and try and lure you in. What about in a massage parlour that offers ‘hand relief’?
I doubt whether we would ever see Peter Costello in a thong, he would not consider it to be suitable work. Not for him personally anyway, because he has the luxury of speaking only in statistics… you see, stripping is paid employment, so is prostitution… so would selling smack if he could find a way to tax it.
Recently finding myself unemployed I was required to attend a seminar where I was told to receive my ‘Newstart Allowance’ (euphemism for Welfare) my ‘Mutual Obligation’ is that I must seek and accept ’suitable paid employment.’
The Australian Government consider ’suitable employment’ anything that you are physically capable of doing. If you refuse a job that is offered to you, you get ‘breached’ where they withhold welfare payments for up to 6 weeks!
As I am unemployed and am desperately seeking work I am searching the classifieds and surfing the employment websites everyday. There are literally hundreds of jobs… for strippers, internet models, adult actors, hostesses. Some of these jobs offer up to $1000 a week! Very lucrative work. Peter Costello is right, there are more jobs at present, a 22 year low. There are more legal brothels, stripclubs, gentlemen’s bars, topless pubs then ever before as well, but this is irrelevant when you are only talking statistics.
Centrelink carefully avoid having their definition of ’suitable employment’ publicly available, reserving it instead for their ever so helpful seminars, to be said in person by a drone who is all swelled up by having access to privileged and classified information… about all the unemployed people.
There are other jobs, dishpigs, waiters, barstaff… it’s Christmas time. At Christmas every year there is more hospitality work available. I have managed to get 3 interviews this week at cafes… I have never worked in a cafe so I knew I would be unsuccessful, but I have this diary that I have to fill out to prove that I am looking for work. It’s a good time of year to look for work, to spend time with loved ones and to release unemployment statistics.
Tuesday I had a cafe owner tell me that is takes a special kind of person to look after his tables. This morning I read that Peter Costello thinks it’s easy to get a job. Yesterday Centrelink told me that even though I had waited 3 weeks to get a payment the girl forgot to fill out a form so I have to wait until next week. A month in the city without a penny builds character.
I wish I went to school with Peter Costello, I would have beaten him up everyday at the bike racks. His Fabian bosses would have thought he was a little rough looking to represent their policies, rejected him, and I would have changed history. By saying that people should ‘try their hand’ he singularly insulted every serious job seeker in this country. We owe him one.
Costello is always trying his hand, he is an expert wanker.
*Peter ‘little dick’ Costello
Australian Liberal Treasurer
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